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Colonoscopy Office Backed UpSerious Bowler Has Own Sanitizer BagSick Air Gotten Off Frost HeaveDartmouth Cuts Down Lone Pine To Make Way For New DormHunt Begins For Where You Put All The Eggs After Last EasterWhaleback Wins 9" Straight Proximate To Interstate Skiing AwardFleet Of Black Suburbans Means Either United Nations Or Youth Hockey Team In TownTipper Gore Advises Millennial Parents To Stretch Before Dancing To New T.I. AlbumCity Discovers City Too ExpensiveSpace Heater Overheats SpaceGoodrich To Add Fifth CornerDartmouth Diversity Office Vows To Be More SpecificDonald Trump Redacted From Home Alone 2Carefully Separated Recyclables Placed In Zero-Sort Dumpster
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New Table-to-Farm Concept Lets Farmer See How You Cooked Chicken He RaisedAgriculture“You Don’t Really Need A/C In Vermont” Says Broker Lowering It To 68HousingEvery Babysitter In Upper Valley Booked For Shaggy ConcertEntertainmentDowntown Devitalization Efforts Help Transform Charming Coffeeshop Back Into Vacant GarageLebanonGoldfish Given Viking Burial To Septic TankEnvironmentGreat-Grandpa Can’t Believe School Has “Japan Day”EducationNew Old Asshole Replaces Old Old Asshole On ListservlistservColonoscopy Office Backed UpDartmouth HealthCondom Store To Open Between West Leb Sex Shop, Pregnancy CenterWest Leb14 Cars Referred To As TrafficTransportationSerious Bowler Has Own Sanitizer BagSportsSick Air Gotten Off Frost HeaveMud SeasonDartmouth Cuts Down Lone Pine To Make Way For New DormDartmouthHunt Begins For Where You Put All The Eggs After Last EasterSpringWhaleback Wins 9" Straight Proximate To Interstate Skiing AwardSportsFleet Of Black Suburbans Means Either United Nations Or Youth Hockey Team In TownSportsTipper Gore Advises Millennial Parents To Stretch Before Dancing To New T.I. AlbumEntertainmentCity Discovers City Too ExpensiveCity NewsSpace Heater Overheats SpaceTechnologyGoodrich To Add Fifth CornerNorwichDartmouth Diversity Office Vows To Be More SpecificDartmouthCity Maintains West Leb Sense Of Place By Not Clearing New SidewalksWest LebDonald Trump Redacted From Home Alone 2National NewswireCarefully Separated Recyclables Placed In Zero-Sort DumpsterEnvironmentGuy Going In Right Door At Dan & Whit’s Must Be From Around HereNorwichSpirit Thanksgiving To Offer Butcher-It-Yourself Turkeys In Old JCPenney StoreFallCartographers, Physicists Struggle To Explain Why Drive To Woodstock Feels Longer Every TripCivil EngineeringCity Planning Department Requires West Leb Property Owners To Lower Buildings To Height Of New SidewalkWest LebRollerskiers Dreading Snowy OffseasonSportsNoncommittal DPW Director Gives Roundabout AnswerPlanning DepartmentDeep Moans Coming From Bedroom Just Foam RollerSportsMeteorologists Predict More Shorts-And-Hoodie Weather In ForecastSpring“Only One Way Over West Leb Bridge By Sex Shop” Say Dukes of Grafton County Fleeing 12-AWest LebHot Air Balloon Passenger Would Like To Go Down NowTransportation“We Participate In No-Mow May” Says Very Itchy WomanEnvironmentTrump Defunds Library Of Alexandria, VirginiaNational NewswireIndividually Wrapped Snack Dumped Into Reusable Snack PouchFood & Dining‘Mandatory Composting Law [Act 148] Working Great’ Say Vermont's Fat BearsEnvironmentWest Leb Bridge By Sex Shop Reopens After Being Repaired Enough To Demolish Next YearWest LebDirect Descendant Of The Biggest Asshole Aboard The Mayflower Opposed To ImmigrationNational NewswireCity That Depends Almost Entirely Upon Property Taxes To Fund City Budget Takes Weird Pride In Making It Hard To Grow Tax BaseCity NewsPlanning Department Retroactively Cites Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater For Improper Setback From WetlandPlanning DepartmentMontessori Drivers’ Ed School Encourages Students To Find Their Own Rules Of The Road; Four DeadTransportationCity Determines How To Use Common SenseCity NewsCity Officials Successfully Defend City From Proposed ImprovementCity NewsNHTSA Recalls All Cybertrucks To Allow Regulators Opportunity To Give Each Owner The FingerTechnologyRunner Too Good For SidewalkSportsYelp Ranks Day-Old Sushi From A Gas Station As 7th Best Lunch Option In Upper ValleyFood & DiningProposal To Get Over It Rejected By Norwich VotersNorwichWest Leb Bridge By Sex Shop Closed Due To Safety Concerns With Only 25 Years Advance NoticeWest LebOutgoing City Manager Ditches Lebanon With Burning Sack Of His Dog-Shit Decisions Left On Steps Of City HallCity NewsDecision On Whether Or Not City Delays Should Justify Extension Continued To 7th MeetingCity NewsCity Insists You Do It Their Way That Doesn't WorkCity NewsEntire Ski Weekend Spent In Lines Behind Same Asshole From MassachusettsSportsDog Listserv’d For Being DoglistservAbility To Get Through To DHMC Triage Line Helps Triage Those Who Don’t Really Need TriageDartmouth HealthSnowplow Either Going To Scooch Back Over Yellow Line Or Rip Apart Your Car Like A 10-Ton Can OpenerWinterNew Blinking Yellow Arrow Traffic Light Allows Motorists To Cause Head-on Collision After Brief YieldTransportationNew Law Would Legalize Throwing Rocks Smaller Than A Nickel At CybertruckTransportationPolice Chase Detours Through CarwashCity NewsSo-Called Speakeasy Has Marketing BudgetEconomic DevelopmentCar Secretly Likes It When You Rub Wet Fingertip On Its Backup CameraTransportationa Stoned Santa Has To Check List ThriceWinterMan Who Needs To Get Stoned, Get Windshield Fixed, Can’t Believe His LuckCannabisLebanon To Bet It All On Red At New Casino In Desperate Attempt To Balance BudgetLebanonHartford Finally Paints New Bike Lane In Middle Of I-89HartfordMeeting About Underfunded Fire Department Exceeds Fire Capacity Of City HallCity NewsUnfuckable Men March Against Abortion RightsNational NewswireNo One Responding To Texts From Democratic Operative Currently Lost And Injured In White MountainsGovernment & PoliticsCanada Announces Southern Border Wall To Defend Against Influx Of Migrants Seeking Asylum From Failing NationNational NewswireCiting Progress Already Underway, City Unveils Revitalization Plan Calling For All-Vape-Shop West LebWest LebSpookiest House On Block Threatens Trick-or-Treaters With Four More Years Of Pumpkin-Headed GhoulNational NewswireLebanon Says It Can't Afford To Adequately Staff $22.6-Million Fire StationLebanonSelf-Driving Tesla Takes Up Two Parking Spots On Its OwnTransportationSpeed Limit Carefully Observed For Tailgating Leaf-Peeper Who’s In Some Friggin’ HurryFallImproved Crosswalk Helps Dartmouth Students Learn To Expect Society To Yield To ThemHanoverHartford Putting Finishing Touches On A Busy Road-Worsening SeasonHartfordTake-out Food Buckled Into Car Seat With More Care Than ChildFood & DiningReport: 87% Of Vermont Residents Willing To Personally Suffocate Whatever Endangered Bird Preventing Better Cellphone Signal Around HereTechnologyNation Wakes Up On Wrong Side Of HistoryNational NewswireMontessori Student’s Self-guided Educational Journey Leads Them To Ask To Go To Different SchoolEducationRec. Department Announces New Fall Sport Your Kid Needs Specific Cleats ForSportsAntique People Attend Antique ShowEconomic DevelopmentTrump Tells N.H. Voters That Abortion Should Be Illegal, But He Knows A Place In Laconia If They Promise To Keep It QuietNational NewswireTerrified City Manager Slowly Realizes Problem Is Coming From Inside City HallCity NewsN.H. Gubernatorial Candidate Vows To Address Opioid Epidemic She Helped CauseNew HampshireCyclist Burns Almost Enough Calories To Offset Food Consumed On TripSportsStoned Dog Eats Entire Week’s Worth Of HomeworkCannabisEarly Fall Foliage Leaf Told To Go Fuck ItselfFallMan Does Not Still Got ItSportsMan About To Drive Over Ledyard Bridge Will Have To Call You Right BackTransportationLatest Tragedy To Befall Kennedy Family Drops Out Of RaceGovernment & Politics“This Is The Best Time Of Year In Vermont’ Says Family Packing For Cape CodVermontHanover To Experiment With Putting Outdoor Seating In Middle Of Goddamn StreetPlanning DepartmentSummer Camp Ignites Child’s Passion For Having Something To Do While Both Parents WorkSummerClaremont Finishes Last In Bid For 2034 OlympicsClaremontHartford Installs New Lane To Walk Bike Up HillTransportation“The Black Fly Population Presently Exceeds The Desired Levels For This Ecosystem” Reports Arm-Flailing Conservation BiologistScienceTown Planners Experiment With New Way To Make Traffic WorseCivil EngineeringLying, Cheating, Philandering Ex Tries To Talk Nation Into Letting Him Back Inside The White HouseNational Newswire43% Of Recreational Boating Accidents Attributed To Ol Capt. Having One Too Many Out ThereTransportationNorwich Erects Pillory For Citizens Who Refuse To Go ElectricNorwichRepublicans Prove Gun Control WorksNational NewswireMost Important Information Put On Easiest To Lose ThingyFood & DiningCity Asks For Public Input On 2024 Plan To Re-Shape Downtown, Following Failed 2022 Effort To Fulfill Goals Of 2016 Downtown Vision Plan As Informed By 2015 Stakeholder Interviews, Public Forums, And Surveys As Called For In 2012 Master Plan Which Resulted From 2008 Planning ProcessCity NewsCity Completes Painting Visual MetaphorCity News“No Mow May” Leads To Insect Genocide JuneEnvironmentUpper Valley’s Homeless Population Attends 23rd Annual Housing Solutions Breakfast For A Warm Meal, Roof Over Their HeadsHousing$2.8 Million Dollar Ledyard Bridge Project Doesn't Fix That PotholeTransportationPlanning Department Struggling To Solve Housing Crisis It CausedPlanning Department“Live Free Or Die” State Can Not Figure Out How To Regulate Non-Deadly DrugCannabisSnooping On Zillow.com Surpasses Baseball As America’s Favorite PastimeHousingOpossum Ohit By OcarEnvironmentDonald Trump Declares That Themis, The Greek Goddess Of Law & Order, Has Liberal Bias And Nice TitsNational NewswireResearch Scientists No Closer To Finding Cure For StupidityScienceWeathervane Seagulls, New Carwash Form Symbiotic RelationshipWest LebWith 3rd Pick In The 2024 NFL Draft New England Patriots Select Next Failure To Live Up To Expectations And Comparisons To Tom BradySportsMiracle Mile Neither Miracle Nor MileWest LebUnsuspecting Parents Never Thought Their Child Would Get Hooked On TromboneParentingNation’s Nissan Altima Drivers Announce Plan To Keep Driving Like ShitbagsTransportationDispensary Institutes Mandatory Workplace Drug Testing To Ensure Staff On The Good ShitCannabisOut-Of-Staters All Head Home Before Second, Better EclipseFrom AwayMud Season Snowed OutMud SeasonBlundstone Renews Exclusive Shoe Deal With Vermonty MomsVermontTrump Accuses Biden Of Getting Older Every DayGovernment & PoliticsMan Spends First Four Hours Of Having Flu Trying To Convince Himself He Doesn't Have FluHealthMeditation Taking Too Fucking LongHealthN.H. Voters Pick Which Guy They Wouldn't Trust To Drive At Night They Want To Be President AgainNational NewswireScientists No Closer To Determining Correct Quantity Of Pizza For Large GroupSciencePop-up Ad Draws User’s Attention To How Much They Hate WebsiteTechnologyMom Out Of Very Specific Dairy Product Only She LikesFood & DiningNew Year’s Resolution Postponed Until 2025HolidaysWorld Rings In Whatever Fresh Hell 2024 Will BringHolidaysCovid-19 Surging Despite Nation’s Least EffortsCovid-19Lebanon Questions If Allowing Drunk Child To Engineer Route 12-A Traffic Was Right DecisionTransportation“Live Free Or Die” State Can Not Figure Out How To Regulate Non-Deadly DrugCannabisSurvey Results Show Vast Majority Of Citizens Prefer Not Taking SurveyCity NewsN.H. Government Unveils New West Leb Waterfront Park DelayWest LebTraditional Cuisine Of New Jersey Diaspora Opens Next To Vape ShopFood & DiningPlanning Department Chagrined To Admit They Designed $4 Million Roundabout Upside DownPlanning DepartmentJim Kenyon Asks Waitress If He Can Have Another Comment CardCivil DiscourseNH DOT Adds Extra-Wide Turn Lane To Ledyard Bridge For Drivers Turning Left Into RiverNew HampshireTechnically Everyone Wearing Slutty Halloween Costume Under Warm LayersFallLocal Pharmacist Keeps Condoms Behind Counter So She Can Keep Tabs On Who Fuckin’HealthLesser Grocery Store Has Better SnacksFood & DiningTownspeople Object To New Town Manager Being Paid Enough To Put Up With ThemNorwichCity Survey Asks If City Should Do What Past Three Decades Of Planning Studies, Multiple Committees, And Previous City Surveys SuggestedCity NewsDHMC Study: Norwich Citizens Suffer Highest Rates Of Arthritis Due To Excessive Hand-WringingDartmouth HealthNHDOT Struggling To Explain Why Renovated Ledyard Bridge Has Lane For High-Speed RailTransportationEnterprising Vermont Farm Now Offering Pick-Your-Own Fall Foliage To Out-Of-State Leaf PeepersEconomic DevelopmentEarly Fall Foliage Leaf Told To Go Fuck ItselfFallCity Successfully Defends Itself From Proposed ImprovementCity NewsStruggling Shopping Plaza Now All Halloween StoresWest LebCovid Excited For First Day Back In SchoolsEducationLebanon Seeks To Reduce Response Time To Emergency Need For New Fire Station To Under 15 YearsLebanonRussian Officials Confirm Yevgeny Prigozhin's Plane Died Of Natural CausesNational NewswireDad Still Calls It FoodstopHanoverNOAA Administrator Under Investigation Following Admission He Doesn’t Like Feeling Of Sand Between Toes, Wind In HairNational NewswireNorwich Selectboard Determines Tracy Hall Doesn’t Need New Boiler If Last Remaining Employees Quit Before WinterNorwichNew Mental Health Drive-Thru Clinic Offers A Pillow You Can Scream Into For $5 On The Way To WorkHealthEmployee Who Gets Paid By Taxpayers Whether They Do Their Job Or Not Can’t Believe You’re Frustrated By The Actions They Took To Prevent Your Business From SucceedingCity NewsCity Paints Pothole Yellow And Calls It Good Enough For West LebCity NewsHouse Priced Like It Isn’t HauntedHousingWheel Re-invention Committee Spends Entire Meeting Debating OvalsCivil EngineeringVTrans, NH DOT Issue Joint Guidance On How To Safely Cut Off Out-of-State Drivers Who Think They Own The Whole Goddamn RoadTransportationCatastrophic Floods That Devastated Vermont Farmers Hitting Those Who Instagram Their Pick-Your-Own Strawberries The HardestAgricultureMan Going To Be Late Because Every Asshole In Front Of Him Insisting On Driving Speed LimitTransportationStudy: 64% Of People Upset About Pronouns Identify As He/HimCivil DiscoursePlanning Department Cites Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater For Improper Setback From WetlandPlanning DepartmentLebanon Zoning Enforcement SWAT Team Mistakenly Injures 4 In Daring Raid Of Wrong PropertyPlanning Department98% Of Innovation Since Beginning Of Time Attributed To “Oh Shit, What If...’”’ MomentInnovationMobile Parking App Offers Convenience Of Paying As You Watch From Window Of Restaurant As Meter-maid Approaches VehicleCity NewsIs This A Violation Of Sign Ordinance? Asking For A FriendPlanning DepartmentCity Rules City Rules Rule CityCity NewsHanover Town Planners Provide Directions To Affordable HousingHanoverSupreme Court Decision Overturning Affirmative Action Celebrated By Nation’s DuncesNational NewswireEmbattled Burger Queen Refuses To Get Stuck With West Lebanon Location In DivorceWest LebCorrupt NHDOT Worker Making A Goddamn Killing On Lyme—East Thetford FerryLymeAdvance Transit Bus That Must Stay Above 55mph Or Else Careens Towards Lyme—East Thetford BridgeTransportationBoth Lanes Of Rapidly Merging Traffic Confident That Yield Sign Is Meant For Other LaneTransportationDartmouth Health CEO Wonders Aloud If They Could Save Money By Cutting Entire Anesthesiology DepartmentDartmouth HealthCity Paints Sidewalks With Blood Of Disloyal CitizensWest LebTown’s Internet Commenters Convene To Form A More Perfect Local GovernmentNorwichSummer Camp Ignites Child’s Passion For Having Something To Do While Both Parents WorkSummerBunch Of People Who Really Need To Chill Out Vote Against Cannabis DispensaryCannabisMan Always Carb Loading For A Race He’s Not RunningSportsDartmouth Health Seeks To Solve Chronic Understaffing Issues By Laying Off 75 EmployeesDartmouth HealthEmail Finds Man Well, As HopedTechnologyCity Hall Introduces New Form To Submit Request For Them To Be HelpfulCity NewsProud Parent Of Honor Student Driving Like An IdiotTransportation“No Mow May” Leads To Insect Genocide JuneEnvironmentSlumping Teeballer Only Goes 1-for-4 On Cartwheels In OutfieldSportsTattoo Shop Still Has Temporary SignShop LocalHistoric Resident Opposes Modern ResidencesHousingEntire Ramunto’s Full Of Dads Whose Wives Are Out Of TownFood & DiningMother Earth Has To Miss Earth Day After She Can’t Find ChildcareEnvironmentCoffee Place Doesn't Open Until 9amShop LocalSolar Panel Approval Process Requires Four Trees Worth Of PaperworkEnvironmentOther Place BetterShop LocalIt Not Ice Cream Season Until Dairy Twirl Fucking Decides It Ice Cream SeasonFood & DiningNation’s Podcast Supply Rapidly Outpacing Nation’s Podcast DemandTechnologyDad's Fondest Memories Of White River Junction Bowling Alley Very Different From Rest Of Family'sWhite River Jct.“It’s So Hard To Find Help Around Here” Bemoans Woman Who Has Opposed Every Housing Development For 20 YearsHousingNorwich Selectboard Approves Upgrade To Premium ZipRecruiter AccountNorwichN.H. Government Unveils New West Leb Waterfront Park DelayWest LebTrader Joe’s To Open In West Lebanon Man’s ImaginationWest LebClosure Of Lyme-Thetford Bridge To Prove If Lyme Residents Can Really Walk On WaterLymePeople Who Moved Here To Get Away From There Trying To Make Here More Like ThereFrom AwayN.H. Government Unveils New West Leb Waterfront Park DelayWest LebN.H. Government Unveils New West Leb Waterfront Park DelayWest LebRegional Labor Shortage Leaves Horny Housewives Waiting Months For Pool Boy, Pizza Delivery GuyEconomic DevelopmentN.H. Government Unveils New West Leb Waterfront Park DelayWest LebThose In Glass Houses Form Neighborhood Opposition Group To Throw Stones At Development Of More Glass HousesHousingBurnt Out Economic Development Commission Not Even Sure City A Great Place To Live, Work, Play AnymoreEconomic DevelopmentEntire Conspiracy Theory Hinges On Government Demonstrating Organization & Execution Capabilities Heretofore Unseen At Any Level Of BureaucracyCivil DiscourseCommitted Committee On Committees Committed To Committee Commitments Special joint subcommittee takes stand on standing joint subcommittees legislating legislative committees.Civil DiscourseSlightly Askew Fleece Named Upper Valley’s Sexiest Outfit Of 2023FashionWest Leb EMS Enters 7th Year Of Going-Out-Of-Business SaleWest LebOnly Person Who Knows How To Run Piece Of Critical Infrastructure RetiresCivil EngineeringNew Roundabout Increases Flow Of Road RageCivil EngineeringResolution AdjustedCity NewsCenter For Connecticut Diaspora Opens In Downtown WoodstockFrom AwayQuestion Google Could Answer In 0.5 Second Posted To Entire Community ListservlistservMan Must Not Need It As Dan & Whit’s Don’t Have ItShop LocalSanta Regretting Going Electric As Power Outages May Ground EV SleighWinterBMW Driver Upholds StereotypeAutomotiveDHMC Re-brands Nursing Shortage As “Self-Guided Medical Adventure”Dartmouth Health“It’s So Hard To Find Help Around Here” Bemoans Woman Who Has Opposed Every Housing Development For 20 YearsHousingLebanon Questions If Allowing Drunk Child To Engineer Route 12-A Traffic Pattern Was Right DecisionTransportationNew “STFU Norwich” Group Formed To Urge Citizens To Quit Their BitchingNorwichNeighbors Of Former Hanover Golf Course Rally To Preserve It As Empty Grass For The Enjoyment Of Rich PeopleHanoverStruggling Shopping Plaza Now All Halloween StoresWest LebNorwich Farm Has More Board Members Than CowsNorwichNorwich Suffers From Lack Of Leadership And Complain-y People Complains Quitting Selectboard ChairNorwichNorwich Selectboard Hires Consultant To Analyze If It’s Raining OutsideNorwichEarly Fall Foliage Leaf Told To Go Fuck ItselfFallVermont Showing Signs Of Fall As License Plates Begin Changing ColorsVermontAsshole Legislates UterusHealthlistserv Set-up To Discuss Town’s listservlistservTown’s Historical Society Recommends All New Housing Be Built In The Year 1906HousingScarecrow Holding A Gun Named Chief Of Police In NorwichNorwichVermont Resident Who Moved Here 20 Years Ago Mad About Vermont Residents Who Moved Here 2 Years AgoVermontValley News Named UV’s 2nd Favorite Newspaper In Valley News’ 2022 Reader’s Choice AwardsCivil Discourse